So Sorry | Shattered Stories

Maybe part of me wanted you guys to read this but maybe other part of me was too pridefull.

I'm that kind of person that always lost on their thoughts
I'm that kind of person that always over thinking stuff
And I'm that kind of person who always has fear of rejection, not good with people and scared to death of my choice

Maybe people don't see this
Maybe you guys don't see this
But this is killing me

I'm not very confident person
I just pretend that I was
I'm scared
I'm scared
I'm scared
I pretend to be confident to giving things
But beneath that I was scared I got that rejection
Maybe I wasn't the best? Maybe the way I helped turn something worst?
I'm just scared

I like to make everyone smile
Because they noticed me that way
But sometime it was very tiring
Because they just see me as a clown

But deep down
I just like to see happiness
It's super tiring to be like that
And tiring when no one really take me seriously
But I'm still doing it
Because everyone keep their sadness to themselves
And I know that feeling of worthless and alone

And that just me
Me being me
I wanted to change
And it's not like I wasn't even try
I try so hard
My mom once told me that someone can't fix their self
I can't fix my self
But who would fix me?

Who would fix such a broken piece of trash?
Who wouldnt give up on me
Who wouldnt give up such a negative person?
And all I feel just this freak feeling
That I'm just that kind of freak on the inside
I can't open myself
I can't be me
I'm scared for being judged

And left me there with trust issue
I never opened myself
Im dwelling alone in my unhealthy thought

Until you guys came
Trust me I was very happy
Finally I found that person who understand me
That person who feel the same things
And I don't think like I'm freak

Those were a good time
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
But you guys eventually left
Leaving me alone again
And I don't know whats wrong
What did I do wrong?
Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Did I bore you? Did I make you tired of me?
Leaving me with this unanswered question
Why?

I told you, you would give up on me
And you did
Just like everyone else

I'm so sorry
For being me